Game-day Bonanza : Habs – Capitals
Garth Murray is the new Alex Ovechkin. That’s all I got to say.
Let’s look at both teams:
Our year so far: Ups, downs, even lines, horizontal avenues, vertical perpendiculars, hexagonical trepidations. Alas, c’est la vie gentlemen.
Their year so far: Washington’s 3rd in the East due to playing in the shittiest Division in the league. Don’t even try to convince me otherwise. What? The Atlanta Thrashers will make it to the Finals after acquiring towering defenseman Ron Hainsey! GO TELL IT TO HOLLYWOOD!
Good guy updates: The terminator is in nets! Again! Woo X 3! The injury bug has bitten, and it’s bitten as hard as Tom Cruise biting into your reality. Captain Hook’s out, Yale’s out, Polish Thunder’s out, Mandy Dandy’s out, Bob Barker’s out. I don’t need a synonym for ‘out’, go fuck yourself. Marc ‘I don’t have a nickname because I haven’t played a game yet’ Denis and Ben ‘My last name sounds like a Pokemon’ Maxwell have been called up. Maxwell will centre D’Agostini and Dirty Harry Sr. Denis will play right wing with Nicklas Sundstrom and Jim Down. HAHA IMAGINE!
Enemy updates: Fedorov is back for them, so is Mike Green. We won’t see Theo tonight, AWWWW! Ovechkin and shit like that.
Soft spot for the enemy: Capital of the GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! WOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
Who will probably score for us: Ben Maxwell will make a great pass to Matt D’Agostini, who will skate around whoever’s in the Capitals’ net, and with the goal at his mercy, D’Agostini will be surprised to find Ryan O’Byrne slide across the ice to stop a certain goal for the Canadiens. D’Agostini’s first reaction is to punch Guy Carbonneau in the face and go “WHY DO YOU STILL PLAY HIM!”. O’Byrne, feeling somehow fulfilled, smiles to the dismay of the Bell Centre crowd.
Who will probably score on us: Ovechkin.
Who will definitely not score for us: Matt D’Agostini. FUCK YOU RYAN O’BYRNE!
Who will definitely not score on us: Donald Brashear.
Prediction: Let’s skate hard and go back to basics. Put the puck in the net one more time than the other team and we’re almost guaranteed a victory. Habs 4-3 Washington!
No Comments
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Leave a comment
