Game-day Bonanza : Habs – Flames
The Calgary Flamers are in town tonight. Bertuzzi, Phaneuf etc. SO MANY LOVEABLE PLAYERS! My wishes for tonight’s game:
-Steve Begin to score
-Roman Hamrlik to score
-Alex Tanguay to score a hattrick and go up to Mike Keenan and sock him one in the gonads and go “Bonne St Patrick, bitch!”. BOOYA!
-Georges Laraque to go with Todd ‘I don’t have enough money to fix my teeth’ Bertuzzi.
-Bertuzzi to retire after he gets in a fight with the kids that skate around the ice with the Habs flag before the game and loses by a knockout punch. Bertuzzi later states in the post-game interview the reason for his retirement was due to him “always smelling like a bathroom located in Jefferson City, Missouri”
Let’s look at both teams:
Our year so far: 4th in the East baby! We are so close to 8th, I can smell it! LET’S GO!
Their year so far: Calgary’s 3rd in the West, behind only the San Jose Goldfish and the Detroit Feathers.
Good guy updates: The terminator is in nets! Woo! I missed that crooked smile of his. Last time he played, we got shut out. According to the Team990, Sergei is in. If that is the case, I fully expect him to have a sexy ass of a game and explode…not literally though. Apparently, Laraque isn’t playing, WHICH FUCKEN SUCKS! WHAT THE FUCK!
Enemy updates: Iginla is having a pretty damn good season so far, 32 points in 27 games. Bertuzzi plays for them, so he’s gay. Cammalleri with 10 goals, not too shabby. If Kiprusoff gets injured, they are F-U-C-K-E-D.
Soft spot for the enemy: Iginla. Whatever his team needs, Iginla will do. I really think me and him would get along too. Like, I wana show him around town, you know? Not in a romantic way, just in a “Hey I’m from here and you’re not” kinda way. BFF and stuff like that.
Who will probably score for us: Andrei K! COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I put him on my pool and he goes cold…it WAS New Jersey though. Oh yeah, Begin will have a career night against his former team. 7 goals and 4 assits for 11 points.
Who will probably score on us: Rene Bourque…just ’cause.
Who will definitely not score for us: Stephen Harper! OH SNAP CONTROVERSY! Alex Kovalev hasn’t scored in 5156523689 games, and that will continue tonight.
Who will definitely not score on us: Dion Phaneuf. 10 bucks to whoever starts a “Sloppy seconds!” chant! Let’s copy Rangers’ fans!
Prediction: It’ll be a good game. We don’t play ‘em often, mainly ’cause they live in Calgary and like oil and horses and weird shit that should only be in a really bad Western movie. Habs to come out with a win. 4-3.
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