Game-day Bonanza : Habs - Rangers
Soooo uhhh, the Rangers have 80 points, the same total as our beloved Habs. Mais TABARNAC we have a game in hand, so this is pretty much as much of a must-win as the PGA is to Tiger.
Let’s look at both teams:
Our year so far: 6th place baby! We’re so close to 10th, I can literally feel it. No, seriously, it’s kinda weird.
Their year so far: 5-3-2 in their last 10, but I’ve always said Avery likes Broadway. Their D’s still somewhat suspect, but the addition of Derek Morris has helped. Besides, one of the Staals plays there, and he’s always steady. I think it’s Marc. Or Jordan. Or Eric. Or Jared. Or Leonardo.
Good guy updates: Carey’s back in nets. Tanguay caught the flu. FUCK YOU FLU VIRUS! FIRST JARO, THEN KOVY, THEN TANGUAY! WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU!? HUH!? IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT THEY’RE LAZY AND UNDERACHIEVING! Kovy and Tender Gender are back by the way.
Enemy updates: Avery’s hot man, 3 pts in his last 2. Gomez has actually started playing like Gomez with 8 in his last 7 too.
Soft spot for the enemy: The Staal. Tall. Underwear-model looks. Calcium overtake. Teeth like a lawnmower. What’s not to love?
Who will probably score for us: Mathieu Schneider. He’s due one. Come on Matt. Do it for the Olympics.
Who will probably score on us: Avery. When he actually plays, dude can play.
Who will definitely not score for us: Dirty Harry Sr hasn’t been the same for a long time. BRING HIM BACK! .
Who will definitely not score on us: Dan Girardi has 0 pts in last 35 GP. I think we’re safe. If he scores tonight, I will upload a video of me eating my brother’s sock…INSIDE OUT! And oh yeah, Dubinsky’s been cold for a long time. What happened to him? He’s big, strong on his skates. Oh well.
Get well soon: Robert Lang, Georges Laraque, Sergei Kostitsyn
Stuff you should check out if you don’t want me to show up at your house and toilet-paper your face: Scotty Hockey. Informative & Blue. Just like the Rangers. If you’re lucky, I’ll post a link of Marek Malik’s shootout goal, the best shootout goal I’ve ever seen. YES! I’M TALKING TO YOU TOO PAVEL DATSYUK!
Prediction: A hit by our defensemen. HAHA! I MAKE JOKE! AS IF!
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