Game-day Bonanza : Habs – Sabres
The Sabres are in town tonight. I think New York needs another hockey team.
Let’s look at both teams:
Our year so far: Seeing how our year has gone so far, it seems likely that we will lose tonight’s game in an embarassing and cruel fashion. But our boys aren’t gona let us down, right?…………..RIGHT?
Their year so far: Buffalo sit in 8th, and have won 5 of their last 7 games. Let’s hate the Sabres though, division rivals and all. Fuck the division rivals! FUCK EM UPSIDE DOWN!
Good guy updates: The terminator is in nets! Again! Woo X 6! Dirty Harry Sr. is out with a ‘lower body injury’. That can be anything from a penis misplacement to a toe removal. Maxwell is back in the lineup, apparently he never left for Hamilton…XMAS Roster freeze and all.
Enemy updates:Vanek leading the fucken league in goals. What the fuck is up with that? Jeff Carter has 22 goals or some shit? Jesus Christ man…
Soft spot for the enemy: Derek Roy. English first name with a French last name. It’s pronounced ‘ROI’, not ’ROY!’. Fuck CBC.
Who will probably score for us: Sergei Kostitsyn? Please?
Who will probably score on us: Pominville. APPLE TOWN! APPLEBEE’S!
Who will definitely not score for us: This is what I wrote for this category for the last game: “Please, if anyone has seen the Sergei Kostitsyn from last year, please let him know he’s needed at the Bell Centre. Thanks”. And it worked! So for this game, I’ll just say this: “Please, if anyone has seen the Tomas Plekanec from last year, please let him know he’s needed at the Bell Centre. Thanks”.
Who will definitely not score on us: Clint Malarchuk. OH SNAP!
Prediction: Vanek will score a goal over his shoulder between his legs but Tom Kostopoulos, after watching SpaceJam and stealing Alex Ovechkin’s scoring touch, will net 7 goals and 3 assists for a record 10 points. Habs to ultimately win this game 4-1.
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