Houston, we have a problem
Houston, we have like, 10 probems
I never understood why spacemen always call people in Texas when there’s trouble in space. I mean, don’t they have enough problems there, what with all the football drama as shown on Friday Night Lights?
Anyways, last year, your Montreal Canadiens won 47 games, had 35 losses including 10 in overtime, scored the most goals and finished atop the Eastern Conference.
This year, the team has almost remained intact personnel-wise. The Habs have won 30 games, lost 20 and another 6 in O.T. They sit in 5th place in the East, two points out of 8th. Oh yeah, there are also 6 teams in the conference alone who have scored more goals than the Habs. Major sucktitude.
What’s wrong with the team? Could Mark Streit and Michael Ryder’s (lol) departures really have that much of an impact? Are the centennial celebrations too much to handle for a young roster? Is the coach to blame?
Come in, take your top off, have a seat, let’s watch some Family Guy episodes, we’ll cook K.D together, we’ll share horror plastic surgery stories, and let me tell you what I think. Now, I’m no expert or anything, but there’s obviously more than just one thing that’s faulty with the team, so I’ll try to discuss everything before Arthur comes on.
I’m gona start with the most obvious one to me. Last year, the team had no expectations. In October of 2007, people were predicting we would finish in 13th or 14th place, the team had no true leaders, the goaltending was questionable, the Carbonneaus have hot daughters, etc etc.
Fast forward through a marvelous season, a first round handling of the Bruins and a cup run that caused store owners on St Catherines to relocate to Hochelaga.
October 2008, the addition of Alex Tanguay, Robert Lang and Georges Laraque improved an already talented squad, and it was widely regarded that the Canadiens were finally going for the Stanley Cup, that the time was now. Then again, it was the centennial, this is the stuff fairytales are made of, this is where the Dwarfs come in and admit to everyone they’re not into broads for letting Snow White stay at their house and not even one of them making a pass at her.
Well, that’s the thing. You can’t script sports. No one knows the outcome of a professional game, be it in the NBA, NHL or NFL (the MLB doesn’t count because it’s just too boring), not even the actors. The expectations were far too high and were made even higher with the aforementioned centennial celebrations.
Let’s say that’s not it, let’s imagine an ideal scenario where the team isn’t distracted by everything that’s going on outside the locker room.
It’s discouraging but the players that were so vital to the team’s sucess last season just aren’t doing it this season. Alex Kovalev, Tomas Plekanec, Sergei Kostitsyn, Chris Higgins and to a lesser extent Andrei Kostitsyn – they just haven’t been the same players they were last season. Higgins is also turning into the same story as your young chubby cousin who you think will grow up and lose all the baby fat he’s got on his face and tits but he’s 18 and it still hasn’t happened kinda thing.
Perhaps the main reason plenty of people think we’ve had so much trouble this season is due to Mark Streit’s departure to Broadway in the off-season, but I think that’s bullshit. Yeah, the baby faced asassin (I amaze myself sometimes) was awesome on the man advantage, but our powerplay has been dead since the playoff serieses (is that a word?) against the Bruins and Birons, a time when Streit was still patroling the blue-line.
Another worrying trend is the continued faltering of promising players. Sergei Kostitsyn was seen as the Habs’ next 80 point getter when he was called up last year, but is now driving buses in Hamilton. Will the same thing happen with Max Pacioretty and Matt D’Agostini? Is there a flaw in the way the management handles these young guys? They are pretty tender. hehe, the word tender always makes me laugh. SPEAKING OF WHICH, I MISS TENDER GENDER!
It hasn’t helped that our goaltending has been weak, at best, for large parts of the season. Carey Price is still only 21 years old and he’ll be the first to tell you that he’s struggled recently, but he’s still young and he’ll learn. His confidence is shot right now though, and things like that don’t heal overnight.
Jaroslav Halak is a solid, goodlooking goaltender but is he a number 1 NHL goalie? I highly doubt it. He hasn’t shown enough consistency to prove that he’s able to lead a team between the pipes.
And last and I hope it was least but it’s not, the injuries. I don’t think I’ve ever head the word ‘groin’ so many times in my life in the space of a couple of months. Chris Higgins, Alex Tanguay, Saku Koivu, Mathieu Dandenault, Mike Komisarek, Guillaume Latendresse, Robert Lang, Patrice Brisebois, Roman Hamrlik, Josh Gorges, Georges Laraque – from one game to the rest of the season, all these players have been injured at some point or still are.
It doesn’t help when your top point getter is a defenseman, but the bottom line is the players that should be leading this team aren’t.
Is is too late to save the season and win a centennial cup that will send this city into a frenzy not seen since the trade of Phillipe Boucher from Dallas to Pittsburgh? Probably not. But some people are gona have to get up and take charge.
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