Montreal Canadiens 1-3 Tampa Bay ‘We can walk around in our underwear in January, fuckers’ Lightning
TopShelf’s completely Professional GameReport:
Martin St Louis scored twice, Olaf Kolzig made 31 saves and the Tampa Bay Lightning ended their 9 game losing streak by beating the Montreal Canadiens 3-1 on Thursday night at the Bell Centre.
The Habs came into the game on the back of an impressive 4-1 victory against the Calgary Flames on Tuesday night, and they quickly got the start they wanted in this game.
The game was barely five minutes old when Patrice Brisebois scored his second goal of the season. On the powerplay, Alex Kovalev squared the puck to the veteran defenseman who took a quick snapshot which beat Kolzig to put the Canadiens a goal up early on.
But if there was anyone on the Tampa Bay roster that was able to hurt the Canadiens, it was the two Quebec-born forwards – Vincent Lecavalier and Martin St Louis.
And they did just that: a sloppy attempt to get out of the defensive zone by the Canadiens resulted in Mark Recchi collecting the puck on the Habs’ blue line, he then passed it to St Louis and the diminutive winger didn’t hesitate as he took a slapshot which eluded Jaroslav Halak who was getting a second straight start in the Montreal net.
Lecavalier felt left out not scoring against his hometown team as well, and two minutes later he corrected that. Tampa’s 1st-round pick in 1998 won the faceoff, and when Andrej Meszaros’ point-shot was bobbled by Halak, Lecavalier made no mistake converting the rebound for his 12th goal of the season.
The Canadiens had numerous opportunities to level the score in the second period, especially on the powerplay. But things went from bad to worse when Lukas Krajicek spotted St Louis while shorthanded, and the speedy Laval native had no trouble beating Halak for his second of the game. It was also his 10th of the season.
The Habs applied added pressure in the third period to attempt to get back into the game, but nothing seemed to work. Kolzig made 31 saves and soon thereafter, the buzzer went to signal Tampa’s first win in their last 10 games.
TopShelf’s notes o’ da day:
-Nothing worked. Passes that should be second nature went astray, shots got blocked on skates, sticks, etc. We made Kolzig look like a god. It wasn’t so much lack of effort, it was more lack of…forum ghosts. We showed up, took the lead, but then the Halakator (this is what happens when I get no nickname suggestions) gets his angles all wrong and lets in a weak one.
-And after that, Vincent ‘I have 85 million reasons not to come to Montreal’ Lecavalier and Martin ‘If I wear highheels, I’m at the perfect height to give Zdeno Chara pleasure for teaching me how to take a super-strong slapshot’ St Louis just rocked out till the Habs were out. FUCK YOU ILE BIZZARD! FUCK YOU LAVAL!
-Let’s hope to fuck Koivu is ok. Yes, ‘hope to fuck’ can be said. You can also say ‘hope to shit’, ‘hope to ass’, and/or ‘hope to fucken shit-ass’. Please don’t ask me what it means. Just pray to Andy Dick that Koivu is fine.
-Jaro, I love your receding hairline, European accent and the fact that your Halloween disguise was Ty Conklin, but you have got to stop those first two goals. What? Did Martin St Louis get slapshot lessons from Zdeno Chara? Fuck me!
-Guillaume Latendresse. You have to go to the net, you’re 6’3 or something like that. Put your stick on the ice, go to the net. I know you have a hot wife at home you’ve gotta fuck, and I know you just gave birth to a child who will carry the last name Latendresse (awwww), but unless you wana be the J in R.J Umberger’s name, you’ll put your motherfucken stick on the ice and drive to the fucken net, douchebag. ( I was joking. Don’t hunt me down and give me a real quebecois beating and then rub your unusually hairy beard on my prostate. Fuckface. )
-It’s simple really: We’re not as motivated to play teams that are lower in the standings. We put in amazing efforts against the likes of Calgary, New York and Detroit (hey that rhymed) and get embarassed by Washington, Columbus etc.
-O’Byrne did allright today. But then again, it’s easy to play well when you’re paired up with the amazing Francis ‘French Francis’ Bouillon.
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