Titty-fuck
Ahh, you beautiful thing. Out for 2 to 4 months. This hurts me more than it hurts you. Stupid Carey skate. Just fix yourself and come back stronger, ok? Me love you long time.
Habs 4-3 Poopy Leafs
You’re ugly. You suck. We won. HAHA!
Game-Day Bonanza : Habs – Leafs
Oh my goodness. Brand new season. I can’t believe it’s here. Can you believe it? I can’t. It’s like, been so long and stuff. No matter what happened last year, everything is fresh this year. New faces, new coaches, new armor-all scent repellent. Let’s do this! It’s only fitting that the first game of the season is against Toronto. They’re gona come out trying to hit everything in sight, so as long as we keep moving our legs, they’re gona take all the penalties.
Let’s look at both teams:
Our year so far: We just started. This is a stupid category. I should totally remove it.
Their year so far: THEY SUCK! Rumors have been making the rounds that fans of the team have been asked to be put in a cryogenic state so they can be revived in the next 500 years when the Leafs make it into the playoffs again. OOOOOO! TopShelfHabs 1-0 Leafs! BOO-YA!
Good guy updates: The Price is right? is in nets. Sergei K is in exodus for being a little bitch. Hammatime might not play, meaning the newly fucken rejuvenated Ryan O’Byrne is in to take his place.
Enemy updates: Mike something something. YOU’RE A CUNT!
Soft spot for the enemy: Beauchemin? Not even. Screw ‘em all.
Who will probably score for us: Ryan O’Byrne. If he does, I’ll upload a video of me eating my dog’s underwear.
Who will probably score on us: Phil Kessel. lol.
Who will definitely not score for us: Saku Koivu 
Who will definitely not score on us: Komi-SUCK!
Get well soon: Sergei Kostitsyn I guess?
Prediction: The first fighting major to occur within the first five minutes. Mike Komisarek to attempt to crush someone and probably succeed. Brian Gionta to score.
Habs-Leafs. 2009/10 season. Let’s do this?
Sergei K being a little bitch
According to Habs Inside/Out, Sergei Kostitsyn has asked for a trade.
A day after being sent down to the Hamilton Bulldogs, the younger Kostitsyn doesn’t like it and is acting like a dildo-loving prima donna.
Talk about taking the easy way out. What happened to working hard and proving you have a place on this team?
Awesome review
A couple of things I have to say about the game against the Penguins:
-If Mike Cammalleri, Brian Gionta and Scott Gomez play with the same intensity and conviction every night, then BOY we’re in for a couple of fun nights this season
-Brian Gionta is my only choice for captain. Did you see him go after Malkin after taking a hit he didn’t like? Malkin’s 9’2, Gionta’s 4’6…or something like that. The man’s all heart.
-Carey Price had his best performance of the season, and it’s encouraging. Now, if he just returns my calls so I can kick his ass at NHL 09.
-I haven’t bought NHL 2010 yet, and that makes me sad
-Once the powerplay REALLY gets going, I think it’s gona be one scary ass PP. Spacek is a better point man than anyone we’ve had in the past couple of years, and once the new guys get their chemistry down, it’s gona be fuuuuuun times.
-Hal Gill and Paul Mara haven’t impressed me yet.
-Tom Pyatt, on the other hand, has.
-Did you see Mike Komisarek beat on Jordan Staal? Yeah, take the weakest Staal brother you pussy.
-I love Max and Tender Gender playing together, they just look like they’d be fun to chill with. FUCKEN CALL ME!
-Gorges has to rediscover his form from last season, something’s wrong with Gorgeous Gorges, and I don’t like it. If pirates have anything to do with this, I’m gona be very angry.
-Speaking of gorgeous things, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ANDREI KOSTITSYN! Does he think his place is guaranteed? The reason everybody is so harsh with the guy is because he’s practically vomiting talent out of his earlobes, and it’s very frustrating when he doesn’t use that talent.
-Speaking of fucking, Sergei…sup.
Preseason anal-ysis…so far
What I’ve noticed about the couple of games I’ve watched so far:
-Carey Price had one good game and one bad game. Skeptics are awake, but I still have faith in the guy. Too much natural talent. Give him time.
-Brion Gionta is 5’7. Zdeno Chara is 6’9. Chara wasn’t able to pin him down once, the little guy’s speedy and uses that to his advantage. I have been most impressed by him out of all the new guys.
-What happened to Ryan O’Byrne? I think he realised over the summer that he has to fight for his place in the NHL. If he keeps playing the way he is, he might just become better looking…or you know, earn a spot with the team.
-I like Glen Metropolit. A lot.
-I don’t think Yannick Weber is ready for the big league just yet. Soon though…
-Jaroslav Spacek is gona help the team out more than Mike Komisarek ever did. And I’m not just saying that ’cause Komisarek is a Leaf now.
-I am so pumped for the real season to start.
I wana Spank Frank
Ok, I don’t really wana spank Frank, but I can’t believe it took that long. Francis Bouillon has finally found a new home with the Nashville Predators. By far one of my favorite players in his time here, and I wish him the best of luck.
Never was the biggest guy, but can still help a team out.
We’ll miss you, you beast.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
Training camp is underway.
Training camp sucks.
Know why? ‘Cause it’s a training. In a fucken camp.
I know this being a LEGIT Habs blog and everything, I should probably preview the upcoming season.
Yeah well, fuck you. I’m busy. Soon though. Soon. Preview will come. For now, enjoy the end of the summer.
3 Weeks!
Training camp starts 3 weeks from today, but who’s fucken counting, right?
LONGEST. OFF-SEASON. EVER!
Heart isn’t valued as much anymore
After Koivu’s, your loss hurts the most. We’ll miss you, GreekSleek. If the Kostitsyns had as much heart as you, they’d have nuts made outta gold…or, you know, be the league’s top scorers.
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The articles contained in this blog are copyright of the author and no article can be used without the written consent of the author. The Top Shelf Habs and the Author are proud supporters of the Montreal Canadiens, their Centennial Celebrations and their Quest For the Cup 2008-2009. Go Habs Go!
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