Toronto eh? Had to be Toronto? Go fuck youself, Mike Komisarek! Go fuck youself with Milan Lucic’s mustache, you money hungry fuck.

After all the shit we’ve been through together, you go and choose the mortal enemy. I gave my life to you man! But no! Your blonde hair and blue eyes won’t overpower me anymore! I gave you commitment, love and passion! For fucks sake, I was half a virgin when I met you! And this is how you repay us?

Fucken Leafs man! You couldn’t go to the West? You couldn’t go to Atlanta? You couldn’t go to Fucken Florida?

Dude, Bob made you fucken wear a suit and stand behind the bench when you were injured. That’s how highly you were regarded in this organization. You were supposed to be the next captain of this storied team. The Montreal Canadiens said “This Handsome Polish man is our priority come free agency!”.

But no, you had to take a shit on all that and go play with fucken Leafs. They’re leaves! They get raked!

You think Grabovski was booed loudly at the Bell Centre? You got another thing comin’…

July 12th, 2009
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You guys are in big shit now. Who’s everybody going to blame? Saku has been repeatedly criticized over his almost 15 year career in Montreal, and I have a hunch that if his name was Tremblay, he’d have statues built in his honor.

People fail to mention how he never got to play as a 2nd line center, which he will now be in Anaheim and which he should have been all those years. People fail to mention how he never got to play with big wingers who complimented his style. People fail to mention how he came back from cancer, an almost-fucken-deadly eye injury and numerous misc. leg injuries.

He deserved better, if only for his repeated charity work and continued involvment in the community. He deserved better, if only for his always-calm responses to dumb reporters about how he should speak French and be a better role model to young players in Montreal. He deserved better, if only for being friends with Craig Rivet (who the fuck wants to hang out with Rivet anyway?).

Saku, thank you and best of luck.

July 12th, 2009
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We’re gona miss you

July 9th, 2009
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On days like these, hockey takes a backseat.

Take care, MJ.

July 7th, 2009
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Um, where the fuck did this shit shitting fucken come from?

Out of nowhere, Bob Gainey (yes, THAT Bob Gainey) has managed to get his hands on not one, not two, not three, but FOUR new players!

Jaroslav Spacek is not the biggest guy, but he moves the puck well and will be playing in his 11th NHL season, so he’s a seasoned veteran and his ass is old. But it’s not so old that it’s wrinkly and stuff, so it’s still a sweet ass.

Hal Gill, who is a pretty huge s.o.b, also signed here. for dos equis! I mean, two years. He’s uhh, big, and stuff. And he’s played like, lots of games in the league too! So like, that’s good. Other than that, meh.

On to offense! Yaaay, nobody likes D, you assholes.

Mike Cammalleri, having just finished a career season with the Flamers, has also signed with the Habs for 5 years, 6 per. The Ontario-born dude brings a much needed scoring touch that hasn’t been here since Aaron Downey decided to leave and sign a multi million dollar contract with Baltimore. LOL! AS IF! No seriously though you guys, stop fucking around. He can score, and don’t tell me he can only score ’cause he was playing with Iggy. UMMM! FUCKEN LOS ANGELES!? THAT”S RIGHT!!

Another one! Yeah, BRION GIONTA! Bob’s hoping the reuniting of Gomez and Gionta can create the same magic that was there in Devil country, and who can argue with him? Gionta is a solid player despite his small size, and he did get 89 points in ’05-’06 with Gomez. SO YAY FOR THAT!

What else? Oh yeaaaah! Who left?

FUCKEN KOMO! LEAFS!? LEAFS? ARE YOU SUCKIN FERIOUS!? DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT! WE HATE YOU ALREADY! No, I can’t! Those blue eyes, that blonde hair, that chin to die for. Goddamn you, why’d you have to leave. I hope he’ll get a good ovation on his first game back with the Leafs at the Bell Centre, but who am I kidding? You think Grabovski was booed loud? Oy…

Oh yeah, he left a while back, but this is still of note. Fucken Steve Begin is a Boston Bruin. What is it with former heroes of mine going to our most hated rivals? You couldn’t pick anywhere else?

July 2nd, 2009
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Scott Gomez.

June 30th, 2009
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Marian Hossa, identity crisis and all

HA! Pens won a cup. I’m completely indifferent about that.

This is why having a hockey blog in the offseason SUCKS ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

BRING BACK THE HABS! booooo.

June 15th, 2009
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Sidney Crosby sad. He no score goal.

After ignoring 20 seconds of too many men on the ice and calling a weird penalty in the 3rd, the refs and the Pittsburgh Penguins got the win in game 3 of the Finals.

Malkin woke up and Talbot is awesome. Frenchies got 3 of the 4 goals by the Penguins, so that’s RDS-orgasm material right there.

June 3rd, 2009
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This is what I get for waking up at noon. Not one, but two significant moves around the club.

First of all, Jacques Martin has been hired as the new head coach starting immediately, effectively leaving his general manager position with the Florida Panthers.

Secondly, Rollie Melanson won’t be back with the team next year. I’m more happy about that than anything. The performances spoke for themselves: Price wasn’t awesome anymore! He had to go. He has been nothing but a magfinicent servant to this hockey club for the time he was here but goddamnit, he had to go.

More later, I’m sure…

June 1st, 2009
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Chicago Blackhawks/Detroit RedWings:
Eh, what can you say about this? I really really want the Blackhawks to win, but Detroit just has so much to contend with, and even though Anaheim beat ‘em up pretty bad in the 2nd round, they’re just so deeeeeeep. They’re so deep, they’re finding Ninja Turtles. The Bulin Wall is gona have to be amazing if the Hawks have a chance to upset, but still, DETROIT IS SO DEEP! You never know, Chicago has shown they can beat the odds, and I’ll be rooting for them, but I pick Wings in 5 or 6. Yummm, if only they were named Chicken instead of Red.

Carolina Hurricanes/Pittsburgh Penguins:
YAAAAY! I LIKE CAROLINA! But again, the Penguins just have more than Carolina I think. Then again, I didn’t give the Canes a chance of beating the Devils, but they stepped it up big time. Ward VS Fleury is gona be key. Staal VS Staal is gona be confusing. Paul Maurice and Ron Francis have done a terrific job with the Whalers and they are tough to beat, night in night out. But the Penguins are set on making it to the Cup final once again, and I just think they’re gona squeeze this one out. Pens in 6.

May 18th, 2009
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