The day the Panthers just didn’t want that playoff spot : Habs 1-3 Rangers
Yeah yeah, I know it’s still in our hands, but I really wanted that win. Like, I was ready to watch Ted Danson and David Hasselhoff argue about who has the better body for 6 hours for those 2 points, but it didn’t happen. It’s not that the Rangers necessarily played that much better, it’s just that we were shittier. They were also the more desperate team.
I just have a few things to say to some players:
-Hey Carey Price, how you doin’ bud? Listen, I know you just finished a long battle with the flu, but next time when you’re not sure you can get to the puck on time, STAY IN YOUR NET! I’m not blaming you for the loss, but you’re a goaltender, stay in your GOAL.
-Hey Tomas Plekanec, hey buddy, heeeey, hey buddy, umm, how you doin’? You doin’ ok in that turtle-neck? Got…got a warm neck over there? I was just curious what the FUCK happened to you? Seriously dude! Remember last year!? The fast-skating playmaker that had close to 10000 points!? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU! CLAY AIKEN WOULD DO BETTER ON A LINE WITH THE KOSTITSYNS RIGHT NOW!
-Umm, speaking of Clay Aiken, HEY ANDREI KOSTITSYN! REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO SCORE GOALS? …yeah, me neither.
-Hey 1st line guys. NO! NOT YOU MAXIM AND GUILLAUME! I’m talking to the Alex’s and Saku. Hey guys, I know 2 of you are in their 30’s and the other one of you loves Mike Keenan, and I also know we can’t expect you guys to carry the team every game, but if you could be awesome in either one of the games left, that’d be hugely appreciated. Thanks guys!
-Hey Sean Avery! You’re gay.
-Hey Komo! That hit? DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
-Hey Panthers! How you guys doin’ over there in Florida? Sunny and whatnot? Niiiiiice! So listen, you don’t want that last playoff spot? Come on! You guys eally need to get into the post-season, your ‘fans’ would LOVE to see it. Come on! Seriously, take it! No!? ARE YOU SURE!? Seriously man, you sure!? UGH! FIIIIIINE! I guess we’ll have to take it! ….YOU SURE!?!??!?!?
-Metropolit line: You guys were sexylicious last night.
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