The Day we got fucked without Lube : Habs 2-7 Oilers
The many different ways we got fucked last night
I see what’s going on here. The Habs players know that when they put in a mediocre performance, I don’t write anything about the game. They figure I’m a busy guy and they don’t want me to have extra work. WELL GUESS WHAT HABS! IT’S NOT GONA WORK! EVEN THOUGH LAST NIGHT WAS THE WORST THING I’VE SEEN SINCE BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA, I”M STILL WRITING! Where do I start?
Ladies and gents, your Montreal Canadiens have managed to turn losing into an art.
After a 6-2 loss in Calgary and a game of bowling, we all thought that maybe, just MAYBE they’d get their bobble-heads out of their asses and put in an effort, not even necessarily a win.
But noooo, what we got was an even shittier performance and a goaltender whose confidence got so shattered, not even Midas will be able to fix it. I understand sticking with your number one goaltender, but what Carbo did to the kid last night was just mean. Like, I know you can’t say the word ‘mean’ when talking about hockey because it’s a tough sport and ‘kill’, ‘check’, ‘punishing’ and ‘probing’ are more appropriate words, but it was just MEAN! At the final buzzer, Carey was outta there faster than Chris Brown at a fertility clinic.
It started off well enough, with TurtlePleks racing down the wing and getting a shot on Roloson. At that point I was like: “Things might actually go our way tonight. Everyone’s asleep at my house, my dog didn’t nag me to go shit, supper was good, my socks are finally dry and the Habs might win! My dog ended up shitting on my new boots but THE HABS MIGHT WIN!”
They didn’t win. They lost. I wish we had won. I wish Price was good last night.
I don’t understand Carbo’s logic. He wanted to focus on defense so he dressed 8 defensemen, but we let in 7 goals. When we have 6 defensemen, we let in 5 goals. Maybe if we only have 1 or 2, we’ll get a shutout?
Best part of the night? Probably the penalty kill on the 5 on 3 in the second period. Oilers had so much trouble setting up ANYTHING, I was proud.
You want to know how much we actually suck? In a 7-2 loss, Benoit Brunet actually saw some ‘positives’ in the game. HA! HA! EES FUNNY COS WE LOUSE 7-2 AND HE SEEEE POZITIVE!
Edmonton was springing passes in our zone and we weren’t doing anything, there was constant moving. Habs dumped it in and there was no life in their skates.
You know it’s a bad night when your best player is Mathieu Dandenault. You know all that talk about us having to get a #4 defenseman? EHEM! DANDYYYYYYY!!! Guy’s a veteran, quick, strong on his skates and reads the game well. Give him a chance.
Oh yeah, another thing. When the fuck did Dustin Penner become so huge? In Anaheim he was this cute little kid and now he’s like Vin Diesel.
Ohhh well, sad times in Montreal y’all.
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